Harry:  Arg!!  My scar—it BURNS!!
Ginny:  Erm, Harry?
Harry:  What?
Ginny:  Shut up about your stupid scar.  It’s getting annoying.
Ron:  Yeah, and You-Know-Who’s been dead for three years now.
Harry: …Well…my parents died…
Hermione:  Ugh, here we go again…
Edward:  God, my parents have been dead for, like, eighty years, and you don’t see me complaining.
Hermione: *gapes at Edward’s vampirey perfection*  Erm…h-hi…
Edward:  Hello.
Ginny:  *pushes Hermione out of the way to stand beside Edward*  Hi, I’m Ginny, and I’m married but still want to sleep with you.
Edward: O_O
Bella:  *all vampired out*  Hey bitch, stay away from my man!!
Ron:  Whoa, she’s hot.  But her eyes are all red…
Hermione:  Her name is Bella Swan, now Cullen.  She fell in love with Edward when she was a human.  Edward secretly lusts for her blood and left her after her eighteenth birthday to protect her.  She then started to hang out with Jacob Black, a werewolf, until Edward tried to kill himself because he though Bella was dead.  Bella then had to go save him.  Then they fought a bunch of newborn vampires who wanted to kill Bella and she learned she loved Jacob but loved Edward more.  Jacob ran away out of depression and Bella and Edward got married and she became a vampire.
Bella:  o_O  What the heck?
Edward:  She’s a know-it-all.
Hermione:  *squeals*  Ahh, he called me a know-it-all!!  *faints*
Jasper:  *looks at fainted Hermione*  Who killed her?
Edward:  She’s not dead.  She fainted from looking at my hotness.
Jasper:  Ah.
Ron:  So, who are you guys?
Emmett: *pops out of the abyss* We are...*starts doing a funky dance* THE CULLENS!!  *trumpets sound*
Edward + Jasper:  No.
Emmett: Yes.  Yes we are.
Ed + Jazz:  No, just don’t do that.
Rosalie:  I can’t believe I married such a dork.
Ron:  *stares at Rosalie like a pervert*
Emmett:  Hey, stop looking at my woman!!  *pounces*
Ron:  Ahhhhh!!!
Harry:  *really annoyed that all the attention isn’t on him*  Hey, my head’s cut open and it always hurts.
Edward:  Oh please.  We all had to go through vampire transformation.
Harry:  Well, I’m Harry Potter!!
Edward:  Well, I’m EDWARD CULLEN.  *flashes a dazzling smile*
Ginny:  *faints*
Bella:  Ahh, I tripped.
Alice:  Oh oh, let’s play a game!!
Rosalie:  No.
Edward:  *glowering at Harry*  You wizards are puny.
Harry:  Psh, yeah right.
Alice:  Oh, we’ll totally kick your ass.
Jasper:  I don’t know…they got BROOMS.

fin.